I Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore | Holistic Counselling

Last updated on 22 September 2025 by Brisbane Livewell Clinic Editorial Team

At some point, many adults reach a moment of quiet realisation: “I don’t know who I am anymore.” Often this awareness comes slowly – after years of adapting, caregiving, overworking or surviving. You may still be functioning, but inside there’s a sense of absence. Your voice feels unfamiliar. Your choices feel automatic. Your life, even if successful on paper, no longer feels like it belongs to you.

Holistic Counselling with Nathan Gurry offers space to explore this identity confusion without needing to explain or resolve it quickly. This work doesn’t ask for clarity before you start. It meets you in the unknown and begins from there.

How Identity Loss Happens

Most identity loss isn’t dramatic. It builds over time. You may have taken on roles that were necessary but never truly aligned. You may have masked your feelings, adapted to others’ needs or avoided conflict for years. Eventually, you forget what you actually want, need or believe.

This internal disconnect may show up as:

Emotional numbness or indifference
A sense of drifting or “just going through the motions”
Uncertainty around personal preferences or values
Grief over who you used to be
Sudden awareness that you’ve shaped yourself for survival, not authenticity

It’s common in people who’ve experienced burnout, long-term stress, trauma, grief or major life transitions.

What Sessions Can Offer

You don’t need a plan. The process begins by paying attention to what you feel right now – even if what you feel is unclear. Nathan supports you in exploring what’s been lost, pushed aside or forgotten. This isn’t about rebuilding a brand-new identity. It’s about remembering and reconnecting with what has always been there.

Common themes explored include:

Loss of identity after caregiving, burnout or career change
Shifting away from roles or belief systems that no longer fit
Reclaiming parts of yourself you’ve had to suppress
Understanding how performance or perfectionism shaped your self-image
Rebuilding emotional honesty and trust in your own direction
How to take control of the new chapter of your life – and what that new chapter might look like!

Online and In-Person Counselling Available

Nathan offers holistic counselling in person at Brisbane Livewell Clinic (Wavell Heights) and online across Australia. Many patients who feel emotionally flat or directionless find online support easier to access.

Quote from Nathan Gurry

“When someone tells me, ‘I don’t know who I am anymore,’ they’re usually on the edge of something important. Not a breakdown, but a turning point, what I like to call a new chapter. My Holistic Counselling isn’t about defining yourself again overnight. It’s about creating enough steadiness to begin listening inwardly again – perhaps for the first time in years.”

How to Book

Call Brisbane Livewell Clinic on (07) 3861 5881 or book online. Appointments are available in person at our Wavell Heights Clinic or by videoconference around Australia.

Sunday sessions available upon request.

FAQs

1. Can counselling help if I don’t know who I am anymore?

Yes. Holistic counselling supports adults who feel disconnected from themselves after burnout, trauma, transition or masking. You don’t need to be clear to begin.

2. What does identity loss look like in daily life?

It might feel like emptiness, numbness, or constant questioning. You may go through your routines without presence, or notice you’ve stopped caring about things that once mattered.

3. What causes this kind of disconnection?

Common causes include long-term stress, emotional suppression, survival mode, people-pleasing, unprocessed grief, or shaping yourself around others’ expectations.

4. What happens in the first session?

You’ll be met with grounded presence. There’s no pressure to explain everything. Even saying “I don’t know what I feel” is a valid place to begin.

5. Do I need a diagnosis to do this work?

No. Holistic counselling is non-clinical and doesn’t require a diagnosis or referral. It supports your experience as it is.

6. Can I do this work if I’m emotionally numb or shut down?

Yes. That’s a common experience in identity loss. Sessions are paced to help you gently reconnect with emotion, awareness and self-reflection.

7. I feel like I’ve been pretending for years. Is that part of this?

Yes. Many people lose track of themselves after long-term masking or people-pleasing. Counselling helps you begin to recognise where those patterns came from and how to soften them.

8. Is this suitable for men and women going through life transitions?

Yes. Nathan works with people navigating career shifts, parenthood, divorce, grief or existential questioning. All genders and identities are welcome.

9. Can I do this counselling online?

Yes. Many patients prefer online sessions for privacy, ease and nervous system comfort. The quality of support remains the same.

10. Will I be asked to “find myself”?

No. This work doesn’t pressure you to create a new version of yourself. It helps you notice who you already are – beneath the roles, habits or expectations.

11. What if I don’t feel anything at all?

That’s okay. Emotional flatness or disconnection is part of what we can explore together. You’ll never be forced to feel more than you’re ready for.

12. Is this work spiritual, psychological or emotional?

It may include all three. Sessions are shaped by your experience, not a fixed model. You can bring intuition, confusion, intellect or longing – all are welcome.

13. How often should I attend sessions?

Some people start weekly, others fortnightly. The rhythm is based on what feels useful and what your energy can support.

14. How do I book a session with Nathan Gurry?

Call (07) 3861 5881 or book online via Brisbane Livewell Clinic. Nathan sees patients in Wavell Heights and online across Australia.

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